


You wear the sun on your skin

by Laughingvirus



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Angst, Changbin is a sad boi, Lee Felix (Stray Kids) is a Sweetheart, M/M, RPG AU, Unrequited (??) love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-06
Updated: 2020-09-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:26:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26316400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Laughingvirus/pseuds/Laughingvirus
Summary: Young people were stupid, and young Changbin had been no exception.
Relationships: Lee Felix/Seo Changbin
Comments: 4
Kudos: 40





	You wear the sun on your skin

  
  


“Changbin!” Felix called out, pulling Changbin’s attention away from his inventory and to Felix. “Look!” he continued, but before Changbin could fully catch a glimpse of Felix, a bright white light erupted out of nowhere and Changbin had to shield his eyes.

As the light faded, Changbin moved his hand away from his face. Felix stood in front of him, a sheepish smile on his lips.

“I’m sure that was great but I couldn’t see much,” he said and Felix giggled.

“Sorry,” he said, some of his silver hair falling into his eyes. Changbin swallowed hard as he had to muster all the strength in his mind to not reach out and brush it away from Felix’s forehead. His gut twisted uncomfortable and he felt like he struggled to breathe. His left hand tightened into a fist. “It’s just that I’ve been practicing a new spell and I wanted to show you,” he said with a toothy grin, pushing the hair away from his forehead.

He was so beautiful. Radiant even. With the freckles dotted all over his face and eyes so bright. Sometimes Changbin was convinced that Felix was the embodiment of the sun. 

At that thought, he shook his head and tried to focus back on what Felix just said. “That’s nice,” he replied, trying to sound as neutral as possible and he turned back to his bag.

He tried to keep himself distracted, trying not to think about how he wanted to reach out for Felix. As he continued to count rations and measure how much rope he had, Felix’s hands suddenly made it into view and Changbin pulled away like he had been burned by fire.

“What are you doing?” Felix asked, tilting his head. If he had noticed Changbin’s reaction, he didn’t say anything.

“Just checking my things,” Changbin mumbled, averting his gaze. He took a deep breath and looked up at Felix. Something in his chest ached as he met Felix’s gaze. He didn’t know what to say.

“Should we continue?” Chan asked, causing both Changbin and Felix to look up and end the conversation.

“Yes!” Changbin said, wincing at how eager he sounded. He threw Felix a glance, not missing the slightest bit of hurt flash in his eyes. A lump was forming in his throat and he swallowed hard in an attempt to push it down. He grabbed his bag and headed towards Chan, hoping the guilt would leave him soon.

  
  
  


The guilt didn’t leave him.

It continued to burn like hot iron in his chest, scalding his insides and making it difficult to breathe. He wanted to apologize to Felix but what would he say? How would he explain it? He sighed, shaking his head to himself and he looked out over the world below. They were walking on a small path on the cliffside right now, just wide enough for them to walk two beside each other. Maybe it was the higher altitude that made it difficult to breathe. At least that was what Changbin wanted to believe.

“You know that Felix just wants you to pay attention to him, right?” Jisung asked, appearing out of nowhere and Changbin jumped in surprise. He blinked; then he frowned.

“What do you mean?”

“Felix,” Jisung said, speaking quietly and slowly. He gestured backwards with his head. “He wants you to talk to him. See him and acknowledge him. Nothing more.”

“I acknowledge him,” Changbin protested. Jisung didn’t look convinced, simply raising an eyebrow at Changbin. “What?”

“You barely look at him when he talks to you and you’re more than happy to talk with anyone else in this group.” He glanced back. “I think he’s kind of defeated.”

“I don’t mean to…” Changbin whispered, lowering his head. He flexed his left hand, staring at it. The bleached white, exposed bone made him feel sick to the core. Young people were stupid, and young Changbin had been no exception. Older Changbin had to pay the heavy price now. “I don’t want to hurt him,” he finally said, facing Jisung.

Jisung’s expression immediately softened and he smiled.

“Binnie,” he began, the nickname causing Changbin’s chest to tighten. He averted his gaze again. “You’re not going to hurt anyone, and especially not him.” There was a pause and Changbin could feel Jisung’s gaze burning at him, but he didn’t dare to meet his eyes. “You can handle your powers and you use them responsibly. You’re not going to hurt anyone.”

“But what if I do?” Changbin asked, eyes fixed on the skeletal hand.

“I know you won’t hurt anyone intentionally and that’s what matters,” Jisung said, placing a hand on Changbin’s shoulder. “But please, talk to Felix. I think he’s quite upset about you avoiding him a lot recently.”

“But-”

“I need to talk to Chan, I’ll talk to you in a bit, Binnie,” Jisung said, his hand disappearing from Changbin’s shoulder and Changbin snapped his head up to see Jisung pick up his walking pace to catch up to Chan.

But as the sound of Jisung’s footsteps became quieter, there was the sound of footsteps coming from behind him.

Changbin turned with wide eyes to see Felix, and his face immediately heated up. Felix looked serious, the faintest bit of hurt still lingering in his beautiful, dark eyes. He didn’t immediately say anything. He just glanced at Changbin and then he walked beside him in silence.

He should say something. But what would he say? Where would he begin?

“Do you hate me?” Felix asked, raising his head and turning to look at Changbin.

“What?” Changbin said, frowning. “No? Of course I don’t hate you Felix. Why would I hate you?” He stumbled over his words, his brain not being able to properly keep up. He shook his head. “Where did you get that from?”

Felix shrugged. “You don’t seem too thrilled to talk to me. I just assumed that you…” He trailed off, eyes flickering around and he rubbed his arm nervously. “…didn’t like me,” he added quietly.

“I- No,” Changbin shook his head again. “I don’t hate you. I don’t dislike you. I’m just-” He paused, looking down again. “I’m sorry Felix. I didn’t mean to make you feel like I disliked you. I-I don’t know how to address if but I’m-”

“You don’t have to explain yourself,” Felix said, cutting Changbin off and he smiled.

He looked like the sun; with his bright hair and even brighter smile. His eyes twinkled like they held a galaxy and the freckles on his cheeks formed constellations. Changbin wanted to trace the constellation, map them out. But he couldn’t.

“I’m sorry Felix,” Changbin whispered, shame burning hot in his chest.

“No need to apologize to me,” Felix said, his smile dimming a bit but it was still soft, just like his eyes. “I’m still… You need time to open up and that’s alright. Take your time and we can talk when you’re ready.”

Felix was too good for this world. This dark and twisted world didn’t deserve Felix. Changbin didn’t deserve to be in the presence of Felix. Someone like him didn’t deserve the light from someone like Felix. He should stay away from Felix, for Felix’s sake.

Yet here he was, his fondness of Felix growing by every passing second.

He inhaled sharply when the thought passed by, and he gritted his teeth. He shouldn’t be letting the fondness grow, yet here he was. He was falling in love with Felix and that was dangerous.

A sudden yelp tore him out of his thoughts and he looked over at Felix. The other was standing on the edge of the trail, staring down towards the cliffside below.

“Are you okay?” Changbin asked, looking between Felix and the cliffside. “What happened?”

“I almost fell,” Felix said, a sheepish smile on his face and he rubbed his nape. “I didn’t watch where I placed my feet and there were some loose rocks here.”

“Be a bit more careful,” Changbin said, words coming out harsher than he intended and he wanted to bury himself when Felix’s smile immediately fell.

“I will,” he said, lowering his head as he began to walk again.

Changbin bit his lip as he cursed himself. Why was he like this? It was as if he couldn’t do anything but hurt people. Wasn’t it enough that he could physically hurt people by just touching them? Now he couldn’t hold much of a conversation either without hurting people.

He shook his head, focusing and forcing all the thoughts to the back of his head. This time, he decided to keep an eye on Felix. They were still walking along a path at the side of the mountain and would be for a while longer. He really didn’t want Felix to fall down the cliffside.

They continued to walk in a somewhat comfortable silence. The only sounds around them were the low voices of their traveling companions, the birds bright chirping and the sound of leaves rustling in the wind. As they continued to walk, Changbin relaxed a bit and his mind began to drift again, picking up right where it had left off.

Then Felix stumbled again.

It all happened in a flash, but to Changbin it felt like an eternity.

The sound of rock hitting rock seemed to echo in Changbin’s ears and his heart leapt in his chest. Felix’s eyes widened, realizing he was about to fall and Changbin’s body reacted on it’s own.

He reached out to grab Felix’s hand. Without thinking, he reached out with the left hand.

His mind screamed at him, and he could feel the warmth from Felix’s body in his bones. He was about to drain Felix of his life force.

Changbin’s stomach churned. He yanked his hand back, throwing himself after Felix and this time extending the right hand.

The air was knocked out of his lungs as he hit the rock, but he had managed to grab onto Felix. Felix was hanging off the cliffside, his eyes wide and clutching onto Changbin.

Around him, the others began to talk and yell at them. They were not angry. They were worried. It was all a blur to Changbin. They rushed up to them, quickly helping Felix to get up from the cliffside. Chan pulled Changbin back and he said something. But it was as if Changbin’s ears were filled with cotton. He couldn’t hear what they were saying.

He kept staring at Felix. Felix looked dazed and a bit confused, seeming to still be processing what just happened. He seemed to be okay, but his skin had taken on an ashy undertone and that made Changbin’s heart drop. He had almost hurt Felix.

Tears were beginning to blur his vision and he blinked rapidly to get rid of them. He couldn’t do anything but mumble sorry. Over and over again.

“Changbin,” Felix said, his soft voice breaking through the cotton that clogged Changbin’s ears. Changbin didn’t dare to meet his gaze, but then Felix took his face in his hands. Despite everything, he was so warm. It hurt.

Changbin couldn’t help the sob that bubbled past his lips.

“I’m sorry,” he breathed.

“Shh,” Felix said, drying the tears off Changbin’s cheeks. “You don’t need to apologize for anything Changbin.” He paused as he focused on drying Changbin’s tears. “You saved my life there.”

But I could have taken it away from you, was what Changbin wanted to say. But he couldn’t form words. His chest was too tight and he felt as if he was being suffocated. He needed to focus on breathing.

“Thank you, Changbin,” Felix said. He smiled, but he looked utterly exhausted. He wouldn’t look like this if it wasn’t for Changbin. This was Changbin’s fault.

“We should rest for a bit,” Chan said, breaking Changbin and Felix’s eye contact. The leader of the group looked between the two fo them, brows pulled together in a concerned expression. “I think we need a short breather,” he said.

Changbin nodded, his mouth too dry to speak. He watched as Hyunjin helped Felix away from the cliffside and towards a small nook in the mountain where they could sit down. Changbin remained there, close to the cliffside. It was as if he was frozen in place.

As he stood there, his mind was racing. His thoughts were everywhere, but one of them was screaming louder than the rest of them.

He would never deserve Felix and he needed to keep his distance. For Felix’s safety.

**Author's Note:**

> Commission for piapi__ on twitter!


End file.
